Balancing Act: marriage-ministry-motherhood-music

Meet EMAN's new Board President Rev. Aisha Brooks-Lytle — NewsWorks

2011-07-11T10:47:00.000-07:00

Meet EMAN's new Board President Rev. Aisha Brooks-Lytle — NewsWorks

Speaking & Singing...Praisin’ & Preachin’

2011-07-04T06:36:00.000-07:00

Since I’ve been a full-time Pastor, I have not had enough opportunities to sing my original tunes with my band as much as I had dreamed. I watch folks in the public eye like Smokey Norful, Bishop Paul Morton, and even my girl Kim Burrell (a friend in my head) maintain the phenomenal balance of being pastors and musicians. While my Presbyterian Pastoral reality would not allow me to move and shake in the way these folk do, I have watched from a distance with the hopes that ONE DAY I can flow with ease as a singing sistah of the cloth who can swing with the best of them.

As I try to find the balance between being a musician and a full-time pastor, I realize the real struggle is being a freak of nature who is equally administrative as I am creative. When life is calm and balanced (yes, I am trying to see how many times can I use a variation of the word ‘balance’ in this blog...), I seem to be able to fully attend to my creative outlets like singing, composing, writing, and yes, knitting. (Don’t hate, I know you wish you could.) But when I am consumed and worried about every possible worst case scenario, I focus on the lists, and fixated on accomplishing tasks and keeping an administrative duties.

I am constantly aware of this tug-of-war between my creative side and my administrative side. But it was on my most recent trip to to preach for our Synod Conference that I was reminded of how much I miss and am in desperate need of of singing as often as I can. The funny thing about being a singing preacher is that you have to be prepared that an invitation to preach could EASILY turn into an invitation to sing a song or two.

At our synod conference(Synod of the Trinity), I was surrounded by a bunch of Presbyterian pastors and worship leaders who are also gifted musicians. The conference was not only life giving to me as a minister, but it offered a sense of renewal to me as a vocalist. Carl and I had pleasure of sharing musically in the worship service. We played a Brooks-Lytle arrangement of “In The Secret” as Shelden Sorge improvised with us on piano. Preaching and praising always feels right and natural to me. I love the opportunity to see the preaching and the singing go together hand in hand. In those moments, I see God fully at work in the marriage between my ministry and my music.

The unforeseen joy at the table that weekend was the concert and jam session thanks to Bill Carter, the Presby Bop Quartet, and gifted vocalist/worship leader Warren Cooper. I love to hear those guys play and perform together. I knew ahead of time that we would probably do a tune together but it just morphed into something fun and fantastic. “My Funny Valentine” was a the request from the floor and so we played it. Caught up in the moment of the music, scatting, and listening to the rhythm section play one of my favorite tunes, I was suspended in time. I thought to myself, “This is it right here, Lord”. I wanted to take that moment and multiply it over a thousand times. Nothing can replicate the mix of voice and sound to capture the emotion locked in a tune.

As we ended My Funny Valentine, we rolled into another playful tune (Glory, Glory, Hallelujah, I believe). I had the sheer joy of trading four-bar phrases with Warren Cooper. It was upbeat, funny, musical, and a gift to this magical moment. I was in my element and so thankful for the blessing of our time together.

As much as I feel an internal tension between music and ministry, I put my full confidence in the One who can make it all fit together. While nothing can replicate being on the bandstand singing my favorite tune, I know that one day in the courts of the Lord is better than a thousand elsewhere. While I’d love to take that musical moment and replicate it a thousand times, nothing can take the place of the mystery and moment of lifting up the bread and the cup, looking at God’s people and saying, “the body of Christ broken for you...the blood of Christ shed for you.”

Lord, you have me right where you want me. And there’s no other place I’d rather be.

A.

Raising Me: From Pre-K to Summer Camp

2011-06-21T13:18:00.000-07:00

Let me say this first, I am raising a male version of myself. I cannot believe how strong and powerful genes are in the business of family lineage. I know that nature and nurture run neck-in-neck in their ability to shape and mold a child. But this boy is undeniably mine.

At first glance, its obvious that Ellington looks a lot like me. We have the same chocolate drop skin, big brown eyes (with long lashes), a laugh that can cause a troll-who-lives-under-the-bridge to smile, compassion for others, and charisma for days. On a much deeper level, Ellington carries my trait of appearing like a fearless extrovert to the masses but holding close to his chest introvert-like tendencies. So it is wild to watch and a roller-coaster ride to parent a smaller, male version of myself.

This past week my overly-articulate, eager, polite, nerdy, and high energy kid made the transition from his small group Pre-K class to the daycare’s Summer Camp program. Summer Camp is great in theory....trips to parks, museums, the zoo, pools, and other kid-friendly adventures. In practice, Summer Camp involves the unknown variable of new kids from outside the regularly scheduled programming. There are new kids present who don’t know and love my kid. There are new kids who may be a bit more “thug-a-licious” than my kid. (and shout out to the kid “who-ain’t-never-scared...but that ain’t my kid)

So, I pick Ellington up from his first day of summer camp and he runs to give me a big hug. He begins to tell me about his time at summer camp. In his kid-like five year old recollection of events, it sounded like some kid was making fun of him by copying him (aka - repeating everything he was saying). I thought to myself, “Oh, that’s OK, kids will be kids.” I laughed with his teacher about the ways in which Ellington may need to learn to be verbally aggressive to make sure that people understand his space and his boundaries. In other words, Ellington will have to continue to be comfortable speaking The Queens English while maintaining a healthy understanding of language you need to use to “keep it real” with folks. (This is a skill a I had to learn quickly and have mastered ever since that day in kindergarten when I had to tell a boy about himself → yes, that is another story for another day)

But you know that’s not the end of this story. As it turns out, this same kid (whom Ellington described by clothing and complexion) also hit him in the face with a ball... on purpose. Really, really, REALLY!!!!!! My lioness tendencies began to stir like a might force. Who was this kid? Did he hit my kid just because we keep it black and nerdy in our house? Elly, did you jab him when no one was looking? Ughhhhhh!!!!! Is this how it gets started???? Where is justice for this reckless behavior!!!!!!??????

I had a so many emotions because watching my kid use reason over force is another reminder that this boy is truly mine. He told the director of the camp to tell the other child’s parents not to let that boy have any TV, video games, movies or toys for the evening because of his behavior. We smiled because we all know that Ellington is walking to the beat of a different drummer. As Elly recounted the event at least five more times before we ended the day, I just shook my head because I know that this is more than the beginning of Summer Camp. This is the beginning of teaching Ellington how to navigate in a world where your beliefs and your practices may be different from the world around you. And as crazy as this world can be, it is key to be yourself and to live up to the standard of the higher calling.

As we got Elly ready for bed, I asked him what I could do for him to make him feel better. He asked for a kiss on his cheek, which helped. And then he asked if I could pray for him before he went to bed and he would repeat. So, living up to the higher standard, I tucked him in bed, knelt beside him, touched his cheek and prayed....we gave thanks for another day. We prayed for his cheek to feel better. We prayed that God would help us (yes, us) to forgive that other boy. And we prayed for a better tomorrow.

Wow...from Pre-K to Summer Camp to real life in one day. And to think, this is just the beginning. Stay saved, Ellington. It’s a life-long journey.

A.

The Summer-Of-Way-Too-Much

2011-06-20T19:31:00.000-07:00

This is the summer of way too much. But like always, I love it! I usually get excited and nervous when I have to do something new, or some variation of a new thing. In my typical Type-A fashion, let’s make a list of all the ways in which this is the summer-of-way-too-much”...(1) I have my first college intern (who’s given ghetto fabulous nickname is “Jo-Jo”), (2) we have five summer interns serving The Philadelphia Project and being a support to MAPC, (3) my male diva BFF/seminarian (who’s given ghetto fabulous nickname is “S-1” for literally being my first seminarian) is moving onto another internship as we are incorporating our fall seminarian into the mix, (4) we are embarking on a joint venture for an 8-week summer children’s ministry program, (5) we are having an changeover in our tenants and (6) I said, YES, to being President of a great civic association in our church’s neighborhood.

Wheeeew!!!! This is why I hate seeing my reality in print. Making this list freaks me out even more. How did this become the summer-of-way-too-much?, Sometimes I look at my life in ministry and think to myself, I AM ABSOLUTELY INSANE FOR SAYING YES TO ALL THE MOVING PARTS OF MINISTRY. As crazy as my life can be at times, I get excited with the new and unexpected blessings of saying YES to God’s movement and possibilities. For every item on my “summer-of-way-too-much” list, there is a possibility for something new, eye-opening, and transformative. If I had said NO to all of these beautiful, creative and amazing people and opportunities, I have a feeling that I would be missing out on something spectacular.

That’s it. This is more than the summer-of-way-too-much. Summer of 2011, I now name and claim you as the summer-of-something-spectacular. With all the unexpected nuances ahead, I embrace you and receive you as a summer that will be better than anything that I could have planned for myself.

Summer-of-something-spectacular...let’s go!

A.

Losing weight at the plate...

2010-06-22T17:24:00.001-07:00

So this past week, my husband kicked me out of the house and sent me pouting to a yoga class. Let me be clear, I love yoga. But I love it at my own pace, in my house, on the DVD. Me and Rodney Yee are best buds. And yet I must admit that I have been a TOTAL slacker in the hype of church installations and all the wonderful things the pastorate brings. So Carl called our gym, found out the time for the class that is FREE with my monthly gym fee, and sent me on my way.

I was the chubbiest person in the class and I thought I was going to DIE. And half of the participants had come from a SPIN CLASS that the instructor taught an hour before. As I quietly grunted, twisted and turned, I came to a realization. The time in my life when I felt the most comfortable in my body was when I ate the least amount of carbs I could stand. I had lost around 60 lbs and I felt great. All I kept thinking to myself was..."Aisha, weight watchers is cool, but you gotta lay off some of the carbs". As my 45 minute class came to an end, I was just glad that I had not slipped into a hypoglycemic diabetic coma.

As I was getting ready to pull off, I saw the instructor headed toward his car. I made the mistake of asking him a simple question. I wanted to know if the class was intermediate or if it was a beginner class. (that was my quiet way of figuring out if I could get out of taking his class next week). "It's whatever you want it to be", he responded. And then without warning, this dude just got in my world with the quickness. He asked me if I came to the gym to have fun or to lose weight. "Uhm, sweetie, take a look at me. Clearly I"m here to lose weight", I replied. And the he came back with the quote of the evening..."Honey, you don't lose weight at the gym, you lose weight at the plate!"

Then this 'yoga-spin-doctor guru' proceeded to tell me his person key to healthy eating. He told me to ONLY eat vegetables after 3pm. (he started off by saying 2pm but I was ready to fight him so he scaled it back to 3pm) This guy believes that the body doesn't need the intensity of carbs and protein by the late afternoon. He says that it works for him and has worked for him for years. I wanted soooooo very badly to dismiss him and his crazy yoga talk, but it reminded me of how I used to eat when was at my optimal fitness level. I think I was more upset that his suggestion sounded like the quiet whispers I heard during that yoga class. (the whispers reminding me that I needed to lay off of the amount of carbs I've been eating recently.)

So, I'm going to give it a try this summer. The crazy yoga class is on Monday nights and I'm sure Carl will continually kick me out of the house so I can take it. I'm going to give "losing weight at the plate" a try. It's a lifestyle that I know full well. And it's one that has done me wonders. Let's see how this one hangs in the balance....

A.

The First...

2010-06-13T17:19:00.000-07:00

A little bit of history was made at Mt. Airy Presbyterian Church on Saturday, June 12, 2010. In over 130 years, I was the first African American and the first female to be installed in the history of this church. I am the ninth installed pastor in its history and I may also be the youngest. I ordered a sign that came JUST in time for the service. It is sooooo nice! (not cause I picked it but because it is nice and goes with the style of the Mt. Airy/Germantown/Chestnut Hill area)

The service of installation was amazing. John T. Galloway, Jr. preached from Paul's word to Timothy. But it was a word to everyone to not let anyone despise who you are in Christ. Just set the example and let the Lord do the rest. My band played with guest musicians and vocalists. I had folks from Wayne Pres, Moorestown Pres, Oxford Pres, our Presbytery, family, friends, and members of the surrounding community. It was THE MOST diverse worshipping crowd I have seen in a VERY long time, if ever. It looked just the way I imagined it.

Me and Mt. Airy Presbyterian Church. I can't believe that I will be able to truly settle and take the time to focus on ministry in this context. I wrote a paper while taking classes at Palmer Seminary back in 2001. I wrote my vision for my ideal church. i called it "City Line Presbyterian Church" and it was my dream church. I wrote back then that I wanted to pastor a church that was cross-cultural, cross class, cross economic, in Philadelphia. People would come together to focus on the importance of the cross and to go where God leads. It's nine years later, and God has given me the desires of my heart. I can't believe it. But I am thankful. I am honored. And i can't wait to see what the Lord is going to do. And I can't wait to see how the Lord will keep it all in balance.

A.

Lent + SHRED = Help me Jesus!

2009-03-02T19:28:00.000-08:00

I try to take Lent seriously each year. It's not easy. You can simply give up coffee or chocolate and not really think of spiritual sacrifice. So this year, I decided that I would work out EVERY STINKING DAY during Lent. I had lunch with a friend and she confirmed what I already knew. If I wanted a workout that would make a difference, then I would do Jillian MIchaels 30 day SHRED. (I already own it...I just needed to dust it off)

Well, today is day SEVEN and it is kicking my butt!! Of course, I want to quit in the first seven minutes but I am going to see what comes of this. I am sure that there is some type of lesson/spiritual insight that comes from putting the body under physical discipline. I haven't figured it out yet, but I know something will come out of it.

One upside to tall of this, is that my first Lenten sermon will focus on the idea of looking at Discipleship as cross-training. We'll see what Sunday holds!

~ Rev.

Back on the Block as Rev. Aisha

2009-02-11T22:40:00.001-08:00

I can't believe that the waiting game is finally over.

I am the Associate Pastor of Carmel Presbyterian Church in Glenside, Pa. It took a while to make sense of it all, but God is so good to answer my prayers in such a beautiful and gracious way.

It feels great to serve in my hometown, near my old neighborhood, and close to my old stomping ground.I love being near.... Barnes and Noble in Jenkintown, Willow Grove Mall, Paganos (best cheesesteaks in da hood), Oak Lane, Cheltenham Mall, Chestnut Hill, my mama's house, my in-laws, all my friends and EVERYBODY INBETWEEN!

I would never have imagined that going from a large church to a mid-size church would be the best fit for my family. Life has slowed down SO MUCH that I feel like I can breathe again. We bought a new house and a newer car. My life is going at a pace that allows me to work smarter and not harder. I LOVE my boss, mostly because he understands me, shares my passion for ministry, and reminds me of myself. (I know that last part is strange, but Oh well...I am who I am)

I pray that this year is filled with settling in, reflections, and learning to live this life as a balanced pastor who is married with children and claiming her voice in a male dominated world. I am so thankful that God knows me well enough to place me exactly where I need to be!

Life is good. Better yet...it's delicious.

A.

Loving Limbo?

2008-06-10T19:01:00.000-07:00

So...I'm in this situation where I have to wait on God to see what is next for my life.

I should be happy.

I should be joyfully waiting to see all that God has for me.

And here I sit, fluctuating between irritated and "blah". I'm such a planner. I like to know the forecast for my life. I know it's unrealistic, but it's the way I work.

So, here I sit wondering where my first ordination will take place. At least I have the song picked out for the day I take my vows before the church. (Chasing After You - by Ty Tribbett)

I pray that as I am learning to love limbo that I can stay focused and energized as I serve the church.

Lord ~ you better help a sister out and give me what I need to make it through this process!!!

~ A.